My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
