Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
