god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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