Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
