He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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