But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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