what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
