Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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