I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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