do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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