so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize