If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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