Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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