i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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