If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
