I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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