ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
