"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
