I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
