When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
