He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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