if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
