I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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