i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
