have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
