It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize