Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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