Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I need to calm my uterus...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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