My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
