She's JV to your varsity
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
