That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize