I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
