Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Still dying that you shit outside
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
