thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
