You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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