im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
