Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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