awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
