we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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