Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
