how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
