Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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