Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Oh god it's open bar.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
