Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
