We won't sleep together?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
