Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Are we still banned from the library?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize