There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
