Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
