how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
