i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
