i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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