drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
