I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
