clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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