her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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