I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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