If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
