dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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