let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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