Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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