can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
