4 words: hood of his car
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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