My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
this is an emotional support booty call
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
