Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize