Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
