Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
