She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
no you cant smoke seaweed
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
