they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
