Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Randomize