She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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