I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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