so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
