After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
