R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
