They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
