So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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