Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
