If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize