tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
